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Dumbass Database
A collection of dumbasses for your amusement
Created By: WebMasterP
Version: 2.8.5

Category: Software

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Dumbass #17 - Submitted on 01-20-2002 by AndrewC
I was at a friend's Christmas party, and just for kicks, I wrote a batch file that would display a message indicating his general inferiority. I placed it in the RUN key of his registry, with a name of "REALLYIMPORTANT", and went home. A month later, he contacts me and wants to remove it. Being a good guy, I walked him through the process of opening the registry, and, since i didn't want to direct him through the layers of keys, I told him to do a search for "c:\winnt\joke.bat". When it found the key, I told him to delete it, only to have him incredulously reply that he couldn't delete it, as it was "Really Important".

- Keith Lang
Comments: 0 || Votes: 6

Dumbass #135 - Submitted on 10-28-2002 by WebMasterP
At the University of Washington things are usually run very professionally. However, occasionally there are a few mishaps. In my Mechanical Engineering class we usually turn in our homework electronically by dropping it on their server.

Well, last time I tried to do a turnin I discovered that not only were they using an evaluation copy of shhd but it had expired so no one was able to turn in their homework. It is not that funny, just kind of sad.

- Anonymous
Comments: 2 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #129 - Submitted on 07-18-2002 by DarthVain
Well this is an older tale. It happend back in 94 or 95 can't remember. I was in highschool. Was in a very basic computer course (was the first year offered at school). Anyway I had gotten into computers early (thanks to dad), and knew my way around more than most. Anyway one day we had another lame computer assignment that was supposed to take days to finish that I did in minutes. That left me with a lot of free time (but not really as I couldn't leave the class). The "computers" we were using were at the time top of the line color Mac Classics...ugh..puke. Anyway due to the classroom setting (teacher was not an idiot) everything was secure and no games (boo). Anyway this left me very board. One neet thing (at the time) was that the OS had a built in encryption algorthim. So I was happly encrypting all my floppys for something to do.

<time passes> The next day, I go back to school only to be hauled into the principal's office, along with a buddy of mine. To make a long story short, my buddy (good guy, just don't know computers very well) had seen me encrypting my stuff and thought it was cool. So cool in fact that, he decided to do it as well. Aparently he wasn't paying very close attention to what I was doing, so instead of encyrpting his a: drive, you guessed it, he encrypted his c: drive. No only did he do that, but he also forgot the password he gave it. I was also told that since the network was setup as a ring network, if any of the computers went down the whole network also went down (not sure of the validity of this statement, tis what I was told, and I don't deal with Mac's much, neither then nor now). Anyway so guess who gets punished. You got it yet again smart guys, me. Got supespended for 3 days and had to help out in the network lab for a week. All that for finishing my work early and protecting my files. Doesn't seem quite fair does it. Oh and what happened to my buddy... Nothing, they were going to have him help out in the lab as well, until they figured out he didn't know what he was doing.

So who is the dummy here, me, my buddy, or the school?

Or is is just Mac that is the dummy for allowing a very tight security systems for admins etc... but allowing any dumb shumk to encrypt the harddrive on a network.

Anyway thats my funny but so very true dumb story.

- DarthVain
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #54 - Submitted on 02-02-2002 by MaloventEvil
Hey all, I'm a junior in high-school. Last year, I was taking a image design class in the computer lab(and me, being the guru that i am totally knew way more than the teacher), and the teacher was giving me a hard time. I did 3d Studio projects while everyone was drawing circles in paint shop, and one day i got really pissed off cause i was getting a B and everyone else was getting an A. I made like 40 wallpapers (that was the assignment) and i put them into this folder with like a paragraph for a filename. The next day I was called into the office, and so were my parents. They said that the teacher had to spend all night with a tech support person in order to delete the folder. (that retard was trying to delete thru a unix shell and had to type the whole file name ^^ lol). So anyway, the vice princ. was computer illiterate so he thought i did something like implant a backdoor virus into the school server haha( i later did that!). ah well i got off with 1 week's suspension (wtf is up with that)

- -MaloventEvil
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #23 - Submitted on 02-01-2002 by decayingomega
"I dont know what your problem is, all Microsoft programs run without ANY problems EVER on my PC. In fact, every program ever made by Microsoft is PERFECTLY stable and never crashes!" - CURTISBEEF

Note: This poor boy is one of my friends, and let me tell you, he sure does love Windoze and Bill Gates.

- DecayingOmega
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #126 - Submitted on 07-05-2002 by asleep@thewheel
Back in 99, I was was hired by a financial company to clean up their NT environment to help them get them ready for Windows 2000 and AD. First project was a server audit - found 100+ gb of MP3 files on one of the servers. Deleted it. Couple of days later it was back again. Deleted it again and locked down the server. Couple of days later it was back yet again. Also found l0phtcrack on the system. Traced it back to the help desk. Apparently they were offended that they lost their domain admin rights after the audit and decided to take matters into their own hands by using l0phtcrack and getadmin to get their domain admin rights back. Problem is, they didn't remove l0phtcrack well enough. At the time, the help desk was outsourced to a local body shop. The whole crew was fired and the body shop had to kiss a lot of a$$ to keep the account.

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #122 - Submitted on 05-20-2002 by chanok
This isnt a single dumbass, but a bundle of them. I take this PC programming course in the local U. And every time one of this dumbasses has a doubt about a program they just ask "so why do i get this error on compiling", like i knew all their code and was there to watch em compile, some times i dont even get specific errors just some sHt like "oh damn my code wont compile, fix it".
*by the way most code is given printed by the teacher which makes it worst

- a whole bunch of em
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #42 - Submitted on 02-01-2002 by Snickerdo
Was talking with a customer about what he'd need to setup a network with his two PCs at home. We call up his dad on the speakerphone so we could talk about what was at the house, and one of them asks him to "Right-click on My Computer." The dad pauses for a second on the phone, then says "Just a second, let me go to your room first." We pause, then ask why. The dad replies, "You asked me to click on your computer, I'm in front of my own."

Needless to say, it was good for a laugh.

- Snickerdo
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #26 - Submitted on 02-01-2002 by HardMonkey
My friend who has Klipsh 4.1 speakers and SB Live! could never get it to work properly. He has done multiple formats and even replaced new hardware including a whole new box. Turns out he never installed the software for it. In his own words "I thought that when I downloaded it, it would install himself" And his current job is as a computer support technician for a major company

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #171 - Submitted on 10-31-2006 by seinfeldlife
this girl asked me why her icons looked all stretchced out. I pointed to the word located at the corner of her laptop screen..."widescreen".

- amateurs
Comments: 0 || Votes: 0

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