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Dumbass Database
A collection of dumbasses for your amusement
Created By: WebMasterP
Version: 2.8.5

Category: Misnomers

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Dumbass #2 - Submitted on 01-13-2002 by csatlos
A group of my friends and I were talking about C++, and a stupid kid in our class overhead us and said, "Yeah C is great! I have one in my computer! Its really fast!". He meant the C: drive. What a dumbass :P

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 4

Dumbass #25 - Submitted on 02-01-2002 by Mod_Master
Me and my friend were talking in the library a few years ago, we were talking about the Pentium processor, then suddenly his other friend jumps into the conversation and says "yo man those things are cool can you download me a pentium? It's gonna make my internet faster right?" what a dumbass i laughed my @$$ off.

- Mod_Master
Comments: 0 || Votes: 3

Dumbass #55 - Submitted on 02-02-2002 by Chas
Okay, about 5 years ago, a buddy and I were hosting an old 486 at this little hole-in-the-wall ISP my buddy worked helldesk for.

Anyhow, this place was running 80 dialup lines (later upped to something like 120), a couple dozen ISDN lines for over 1000 customers. All from a single T1 with no backup plan whatsoever.

Not only this, but because it was basically a "Just a couple of guys" operation (their e-mail server was down over a week the one time because they had to wait for a hard disk RMA), but a couple of their friends had other things running.

1 - Quake server
2 - Usenet binary rippers (scanning for PR0N)
2 - Warez servers (well, one guy claimed that those 3 9gig SCSI disks in his system weren't REALLY for warez!)

And our machine, running an IRC server and a web server with all of about 10 pages.

But they kept harassing US, telling us that our little IRC server kept sucking down all their customers' bandwidth.

Indeed, the network administrator dropped me an e-mail once, claiming that, if it weren't for us, they'd have plenty of bandwidth left on their 1.544 megaBYTE T1. When I gently pointed out that a T1 was 1.544 MegaBITS, I was told I didn't know what the hell I was talking about.

Now, whenever my buddy and I refer to this place, we refer to it as "SufferNet".

- Chas
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #1 - Submitted on 01-12-2002 by WebMasterP
I hate it when "older people" refer to the computer case as the "hard drive". That just really gets to me.

"Why don't you just put your hard drive under the desk?"

- Moms and Dads Everywhere
Comments: 0 || Votes: 2

Dumbass #131 - Submitted on 10-15-2002 by jameswing
I'm the Computer administrator as well as the drafting tech, and database manager for my company. Needless to say that they keep me real busy. At any one time I can be working on 5 projects, as well as dealing with all the dumb things people here do to their computers.

There is one Project manager who thinks that all I do is sit around and wait for assignments from him. A few weeks ago he came to me and complained that he couldn't log off of his computer at the end of the day. I checked it and it logged off just fine. He kept comming to me with the same complaint five or six more times and each time I told him it was fine. At this point I had had it because I was having to work on a huge project for the General manager. So I went into his office and told him to logoff so I could see how he did it. Sure enough it loged off. I told him "see it works", he then told me "no! it's not logged off yet" "it's still on" I then said "you want to shut down" and told him not to bother me unless it his computer wouldn't turn on. I don't know why this happend because he had been shuting down properly before this time.

- jameswing
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #36 - Submitted on 02-01-2002 by ness
why do my parents keep thinking everything i do with the computer is a computer game?! am i the only one?!

- angrierness
Comments: 1 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #29 - Submitted on 02-01-2002 by Kruzen
Anyone who considers the entire computer the monitor.. with an extra box that makes noise.

- your mom
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #14 - Submitted on 01-17-2002 by rippa
While berating a uni collegue for the lightness of his printing on an assignment I was proof reading for him, I was informed that he was printing in draft mode in order to save paper. By the way this guy is studying IT and Engineering.

- Jimi
Comments: 0 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #3 - Submitted on 01-13-2002 by csatlos
A friend of mine kept pronouncing SCSI as "skizzey" instead of the accepted "scuzzy".

This lasted for about a week before we had had enoughlaughing and told him how to pronunce it. :)

- Anonymous
Comments: 1 || Votes: 1

Dumbass #125 - Submitted on 07-02-2002 by brianm
Well, i am in the 8th grade and i am very very very computer literate while my comp teacher isn't (i told her i was going to set up a home network and she got confused) anyways, we had like an open house thing at the school and when i took my mom to the comp lab, the teachers said that they were connected to the "ethernet" (confused that ethernet is something better than the internet) and also she said the comps were top of the line (she said this in 2002) and the comps were 300mhz celerons with 16mb of ram. also on a project she gave the class that was supposed to take a few days i finished in a few minutes and she got pissed off at me.

- Anonymous
Comments: 1 || Votes: 0

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