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Dumbass Database
A collection of dumbasses for your amusement
Created By: WebMasterP
Version: 2.8.5

Category: Miscellaneous

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Dumbass #20 - Submitted on 01-30-2002 by VSP
Anyone who bought a Socket423 Pentium4 with expensive Rambus, when they could have had a faster cheaper Athlon XP with cheaper DDR Ram. I am one of those dumbasses

- Anonymous
Comments: 0 || Votes: 7

Dumbass #71 - Submitted on 02-02-2002 by SrTech
I work in the Technology Dept. for a large school district. Nuff said.
Monday: Phone call:
Some teacher - "My printer won't print color."
Me - Try this, and this and this.

Tuesday: Same caller.
Some teacher - "Prints color but just not yellow"
Me - "Replace the cartridge"
Her - OK

Friday (I guess she was busy Wed and Thurs)
Same teacher calls, can't print yellow.
I finally can get out to her school, so I get there and it prints everything I throw at it. I'm printing rainbows, test pages, everything. I asked her "You said it wouldn't print yellow, these are fine."
She reached into a desk drawer and said "Well I was trying to print on this" and hands me a stack of yellow paper.

And you wonder why there are school shootings?

- Anonymous
Comments: 1 || Votes: 6

Dumbass #46 - Submitted on 02-01-2002 by proevision
about 3 years back i knew this kid who just bought a dell with a blazen fast p3 733...... he spent bout 3k on it and when he saw me at school he was like hey come over to my house and check out my new computer. so i go over there and his dad gives me a lecture on how you cant touch the tower or else you will corrupt the "c drive" as he called it, and i mean just touch the outside of the case with your fingers, he wouldnt even press the eject button on his cd rom. OK now heres the good part he turns on his "family" computer and i tell him to goto my computer and hes like ownt that ruin it, then came an old fashioned illegal opperation error he turned to me and said does that means the cops found my porn.

- Anonymous
Comments: 1 || Votes: 6

Dumbass #5 - Submitted on 01-13-2002 by Nicko
If it was socially acceptable I'd make love to a Subway sandwhich.

- Justin Bentz
Comments: 1 || Votes: 5

Dumbass #102 - Submitted on 02-06-2002 by unabomber
I'm a college student, and I work at my college hooking students up to the net (just configuring their TCP/IP settings) and I run into tons of stupid people. I will come back almost daily with someones stupidity, but today, I will be brief.

It is funny how many people who have NIC's, try to use phone wire (RJ-11) instead of RJ-45, I know its not much, but I just find it funny. Oh, and it is usually stupid sorority girls who do it.

- a plethora of sorority girls
Comments: 0 || Votes: 4

Dumbass #111 - Submitted on 03-05-2002 by zappa
Once will working for a reseller of officeproducts I got phoned by a sales represant who aske me about "The any key".

At that sentence i remebered that my boss once told us about this guy, and the trouble to have him understand that the any key is just as it sounds any key on the keyboard. With no luck in convincing him that he told him that it's the space key.

Back to my phonecall. This time hi said that his keyboard was broken. "The anykey is broken." I asked him a few questions about other keys if they work. "I dunno??? How can I test if they work..."

"Just send me a mail and type something in it that includes spaces...", I replied. I got the mail and there where spaces in some places but not all. Somewhere the "space" had deleted a letter instead...

I called him up and asked if the space key was split into two. Some compaq server had that for a while. And yes it was. Then I asked him how the hell has he been able to get one. And he replied "I saw it when the cleaners was in the closet and I thought it was cool so i took it".

"But wasn't it connected to a machine???" I asked him. And he replied with a "Sooo????"

What he had done was to just switch the server off (no shutdown of course) and pull the keyboard out and switch the server on so that no one would notice. The thing was that the server crashed and lost the last 2 days of documents (just a fileserver).

Needless to say he was fired the same day...


- Anonymous
Comments: 1 || Votes: 3

Dumbass #109 - Submitted on 02-28-2002 by PitCode
A very annoying person said this when asked about the computer he was building for a friend. "While I was installing your software, I found out that the motherboard was dead, and it wouldn't turn on. So in the middle of software installation, 65%, it wouldn't turn on. So I had to buy an $800 motherboard to fix the problem." Note: If you are thinking that a person can not be this dumb, think again.

- Software Jerk
Comments: 0 || Votes: 3

Dumbass #97 - Submitted on 02-05-2002 by Poof
I had a person call my computer business to buy a bigger monitor because they couldn't see their entire screen. I put them on mute and laughed then when I unmuted the phone I told him how to resize his screen resolution =)

- Poof
Comments: 0 || Votes: 3

Dumbass #81 - Submitted on 02-03-2002 by Fritzie
When Working ISP Tech Support awhile back.. I happened upon a call where a woman wanted to know how she could find out which sites her son was going to. She obviously wanted to see which sites he was visiting.

Ok, no big deal. I told her to just bring up the browser history.. My supervisor at the time had been listening in to this for review purposes.. Low and behold, she started reading me off some *ahem* pr0n sites.. Not just any sites.. But MALE pr0n sites. At this point, I put her on the speaker so that other techs could listen in.. Oh man, She had no idea what was going on until I finally told her that her son was probably a little 'odd'.. EVERY tech around me nearly died laughing, and I myself was having a very hard time choking back laughter..

After that call, that was probably the best laugh I've ever had.

- Fritzie
Comments: 0 || Votes: 3

Dumbass #79 - Submitted on 02-03-2002 by Tailin
I do support for stand-alone photo kiosks. This story revolves around the PC/Windows 2K version. A friend of mine in the call center here thought he had taken the cake with one call of his. He was trying to walk a customer through running the recovery CD to reload the OS. She told him that her mouse wasn't working. He of course checked the connections and such. It turns out she had the mouse held backwards...in the air and was moving it back and forth in front of the monitor.

We had a good laugh at that but I stunned him into silence a week later when I related the details of a very similar call. Again, we were trying to run the recovery CD. Her mouse wasn't moving for some reason. Remembering the situation I found hilarious a week ago, I attempted to describe the mouse after we verified it was plugged in to make sure she knew what a mouse was. I told her it should be generally rectangular, 4 inches by about 2 1/2 wide. It will have 2 buttons on the top of it. She seemed to understand but after a little more troubleshooting to no avail, I knew something was wrong. The problem floored me when she casually described the mouse as being black. "black?" I said. "It should be a grey plastic. Can you describe this 'mouse' to me?" She proceeded to describe to my horror the small USB speaker that normally sits next to the computer. And guess what else? She was holding it in midair, waving it back and front in front of the monitor.

- the sad, sad state of the gene pool
Comments: 0 || Votes: 3

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